The Media Guru

Dec 27, 2007

Top Gear Season 10 is finally over… & if you missed some of the episodes, here’s the chance to catch up…

Episode 1
Jeremy reviews VW Golf GTI W12 concept & concludes that “if you want a slow car that looks like a Golf… get a Golf.”
Then Jeremy takes a Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera, Hammond a Porsche 911 GT3 RS & James a (stripped-down) Aston Martin V8 Vantage N24… to find the best driving road in the world (in Europe).

Some say that his scrotum has its own small gravity field… and that because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name. All we know is… he’s called Cuddles.
Episode 2
Jeremy Clarkson reviews the Audi R8 supercar & then races against Hammond’s Porsche 911 Carrera S in a drag race.
The three presenters decide to make their own amphibious vehicles to attempt to cross the Channel… Jeremy adds an outboard motor & two oildrums to his Nissank pickup & Hammond adds a hull to a VW Vanagon Dampervan while May decides to use Triumph Herald sailboat (from the previous amphibious episode) with a collapsible mast.
Ambitious, but rubbish!

Some say that he’s banned from the town of Chichester… and that in a recent late-night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh. All we know is… he’s called The Stig.
Episode 3
James May reviews the Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead Coupé… & Jeremy shows off the Lamborghini Reventón.
He also reviews the Ferrari 599 & then drives the Peel P50 into a meeting at the BBC HQ…
Finally… Richard Hammond races a Bugatti Veyron against a Eurofighter Typhoon…(more here)

Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet… and that if he'd been the video ref in the world cup rugby final he would have seen that… of course it was a try you blind Australian halfwit. All we know is… he’s called The Stig.
Episode 4
In this special episode, the 3 presenters have to cross Botswana in a used car that costs up to £1500… Challenges include crossing a salt pan, a delta infested with wild animals and a river… & there’s also a time trial with The Stig’s African cousin…

Some say he's seen the Lion King one thousand, seven hundred and eighty times… and that his second best friend is a Cape Buffalo. All we know is… he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's African cousin!
Episode 5
Hammond takes on his Aston Martin V8 Vantage… against a man on roller-skates-with-a-turbo-powered-rocket-backpack in a drag race. Jeremy then tests the Caparo T1… with all the emergency services on alert! The 3 presenters & The Stig try to determine what is the fastest way to cross London at peak-time. Jeremy drives a powerboat on the Thames, James takes a Mercedes GL 500, Hammond his bicycle and The Stig uses a very big car (a bus) & the Underground.

Some that to unlock him you have to run your finger down his face… and that if he was getting divorced from Paul McCarthy, he would keep his stupid, whining mouth shut. All we know is… he’s called The Stig.
Episode 6
Jeremy Clarkson reviews the 3rd Generation Honda Civic Type R, the BMW M5 Touring & the AMG Mercedes E-Class… James instead reviews the Alfa Romeo 159 & races against a man (swimming through muddy swamps) to cross a river…
Hammond tries out a new form of racing called motorhome racing…

Some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary… and that he recently pulled out of I'm A Celebrity because he is frightened of trees... and Australia... and Koo Stark... and Ant... and Dec. All we know is… he's called The Stig.
Episode 7
Jeremy reviews the Aston Martin DBS & compares it to the DB9… Then to celebrate the 40th Anniversary of British Leyland, the 3 presenters decide to find out the best car Leyland ever made... with a £1200 car challenge. Jeremy takes a Rover SD1, May an Austin Princess & Hammond a Triumph Dolomite Sprint. They’ll have to complete 4 challenges to test the cars’ performance, handbrakes, ride comfort & build quality…

Some say that he knows two facts about ducks and both of them are wrong… and that 61 years ago, he accidentally introduced Her Majesty the Queen to a Greek racialist. All we know is… I'm going to the Tower to have my head cut off… er… and he is called The Stig.

Episode 8
Jeremy reviews the Vauxhall VXR8… & tries out a new driver-less BMW around the track!
James May & Jeremy Clarkson embark on an epic journey to find the first car that introduced the control that modern cars use today… Meanwhile Hammond finds himself going too slow in the Renault R25 F1… Lewis Hamilton is the Star in a Reasonably Priced car.

Some say that when he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks… and that if he’d been the Manager of the England Football squad, he wouldn’t have been a feckless, ginger, gum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us. All we know is… he’s called The Stig.
Episode 9
Jeremy compares the Daihatsu Materia against the Ascari A10… which incidentally becomes the fastest car on the Power Lap board with a time of 1:17.3. James May then races the Fiat Nuova 500 against youths on BMX bikes…
But the main challenge in episode 9 consists of Top Gear Team taking part in the Britcar 24h race to burn the “petrol” they made last season with rape seed, in a modified BMW 330d. Due to the lack of sponsors, they decide to make up their own brands… and they find out that they will be competing alongside actual 200mph supercars. But nevertheless they have an ace up their sleeves…

Some say that he once lost a canoe on a beach in the north east… and that he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury because his teddy is called the baby Jesus. All we know is… he's called The Stig.
Episode 10
James May reviews the Jaguar XF. The 3 presenters then go to Spain to find the best sedan out of the BMW M3, the Audi RS4 & the Mercedes C63 AMG.
Richard Hammond then races a Radio Controlled toy car against a G-Wiz radio controlled by The Stig!

2007 Top Gear Awards:
- Lifetime Achievement Award - Traffic "Wombles" (officers) from the the Highways Agency for blocking motorways after minor accidents
- Ugliest Car - MINI Clubman
- Worst Car - G-Wiz
- Worst Dressed Presenter on Top Gear - Jeremy Clarkson's drysuit on the British Leyland cars film
- Best Noise - Richard Hammond when 'Oliver' sank.
- Best Driver - Simon Cowell
- Car of The Year 2007 - Subaru Legacy Outback or the Ford Mondeo (they couldn't decide)

Some say, as we speak, he is actually relaxing in the resort’s pool, and that he is… actually, yes he is.
Every time I watch a Top Gear episode, I convince myself that this is the best thing they’ve done but eventually they surpass themselves in the following episode… how hard can it be?

Get the download links for Top Gear Season 10 here (txt file).

[via Wiki]

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